Demons
by Spawner
Summary: Regina has a moment of weakness. She still feels like the eyes that follow her with malice deter her very existence for living. And it also gives her negative thoughts about how Henry and Emma feel about their family member. Trigger Warning!: Rated M for suicide attempt. Please read at own risk!


_Tick_

_Tock_

The hands on the clock slowly approached 3:15.

The sound of rain on the patter of the window sounded so loud all of the sudden.

It had been raining all day; rained the previous two days as well.

A somber mood had been detected around the house.

A figure sat on the edge of her son's bed, petting the empty sheets as a voice entered her mind.

_He'll never love you, you know. _

_Even though everything seemed to change, even though you're closer._

_He'll never truly love you._

_To her, you'll always be evil._

_Wait until she finds out about you._

_About everything you've hidden from her._

_Mother was right._

She wants the voices to leave, to put back in her mind the happiness that has been displayed by her son and...

No.

She can't think about _her_ now.

The voices are too loud to do that.

The pull is too strong to think about anything else.

Standing up, her legs lead her to the office, a place once filled with happiness and memories of a first crawl, a piggy back ride, a dropping all of her work to pick the four-year-old after he scraped his knee.

And the memories she's so quickly trying to forget.

A first kiss, an "I love you", a previous fight, love-making on the desk with a certain blonde.

If these memories continue, she's not sure she would be able to...

She has to.

She's here now.

Her hands grab the box hidden within one of the locked drawers.

A passage Miss Swan didn't know existed.

It was the one thing she wanted hidden from the world.

A last resort if you will.

She grabbed Graham's revolver, her fingers gliding over the barrel.

How many people had he killed, she wondered.

How many shots had been fired with this weapon?

She pulled back the chamber, revealing one single bullet.

How ironic her life was reduced down to this.

Picking the firearm from its case, she set it down on the desk, picking up a pen and a piece of paper, beginning to write.

Setting down the utensils, with a shaky hand, she put the barrel to her head and closed her eyes.

The last thing that passed through her mind before she pulled the trigger was the image of Emma and Henry asleep on the couch, cuddled up with each other.

A picture that she had taken settling above the mantel of the fireplace.

* * *

The monitors of the machine beeped loudly into Emma's ears.

She had been sitting there for what seemed like days next to Regina's side.

A bullet wound was etched onto the side of her head.

A bloody letter clutched in the palm of her hand.

The images came into her mind as if it were happening once again.

_"Honey, I'm home! I'm sorry I was late, Regina, there's no need to be upset and give me the silent treatment."_

_But the house was still, no noise escaped through any passage of the house._

_"Playing hard to get are we? Hmm...Or maybe I did something right? Are you in...Here?!" The Sheriff opened the door to their bedroom, expecting to see a sultry Queen on the bed. _

_Empty._

_"Dammit! You said you'd be home! Where...Oh, you must be in the Office. Really, woman I don't know how you can continue to to work in conditions like this. I am needy, you know."_

_The door was slightly ajar, and when she opened it the contents of her stomach threatened to spill out._

_"Oh God, Regina!" She ran over to the woman, blood splayed on the floor and desk, her limp form in the chair._

_A note was displayed for her, the header had the blonde's name on it in writing she recognized as her lover's._

_Taking it with her, she made a dash for the hospital, hoping it wasn't too late._

"Why?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She found herself screaming, watching the monitor beep strengthen one moment and weaken another.

"Was our life not good enough for you?! Didn't you finally get what you wanted?! Am I not good enough?! Regina Swan-Mills, tell me! Please!"

She felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

It was her father, shaking his head, grabbing his daughter and holding her tightly to calm her down. Something he had done once before he had given her away all those years ago.

"I can't lose her, David! I refuse to! Not without an explanation! This...It's not enough!"

"Em...Sit with her. Just...Stay with her. I think she needs you now more than anything."

He held her tighter as sobs wracked her body. It was the one time she needed him more than anything else.

And he was there.

So she would be there for her wife, like family did.

She would let Regina know that no matter what thoughts raced through her mind, she was not alone.

Letting go of her father's embrace, she held the woman's hand tightly, waiting for her to awaken, for that moment when her eyes lay on the blonde again.

The note still clutched tightly in her hand.

_Emma,_

_There has not been a moment with you that I have ever felt alone. You bring so much light into my life I feel as if the darkness is pressed back into the corner of my heart. You are my world, someone that I didn't imagine would be here throughout everything. They doubted our relationship, thought you were with foolish people like Neal or the Pirate. Hell, they made it seem like my Happily Ever After was with that foolish archer. How funny it was when they finally noticed it was with you the whole time. I honestly believe this whole time it was you meant to break my curse and make it into my life to show me the good things that could come from actually being loved and being in love. I never thought my mortal enemy would be someone who brought me my True Love. And you have also brought me my son. Someone that I love more than anything in this entire world. But...Emma, the truth remains that I am Evil. I will always be someone that can not atone for the crimes she has brought upon these people and their families. How many people had to die for me to finally claim happiness to my wretched soul? Maybe my mother was right. It will always exist in me, and you nor Henry will be able to forgive me for what I have done. I understand that you see me for someone other than the Evil Queen. But if only you truly knew. I did not want that burden upon you. If they are demonic towards our relationship now, imagine what will happen when you find out the truth. I have been contemplating this for a while, and though I know it will bring you great pain, I also want you to be free of anything that I have been dragging you down with. I hope you will take care of our son, to let him know there was good in me at one point. I'm so sorry, Emma. Please forgive me._

_Please know that I will love you, forever and always._

_Regina_

Emma placed a kiss upon her lover's temple, praying for the woman's recovery. Begging for her to

just.

open.

her.

eyes...

"Emma?" The blonde looks up to see Regina's eyes fluttering open, her weakened grip tightening on the woman's own.

"Regina?! Are you...What were you thinking?! Why would you even...Are you crazy?! Leaving me and Henry..." Tears streamed down her cheeks as a shaky hand reached over and pressed her finger against the blonde's lips.

"I don't...I don't...Want to die, Emma...I'm sorry...I thought...I thought you would understand how I felt...That I...I don't deserve you and...Henry..." Blood spilled from her lips as her grip weakened.

"I won't let you die, Regina. You're going to come home with me and Henry, and...And you're going to sleep on the couch for like three months because I'm so mad at you. But when you're sleeping, I'll carry you to our bed because I know how uncomfortable our couch can be...I've been there like a million times. And...And when Henry has kids, you'll read to them and shush me because I'll try to interrupt you with a million questions...And...You...You're going to be all right. Because I love you. Don't you ever forget that."

Emma was quickly pushed out of the way by Whale and his assistants as they leveled Regina's head, cleaning up the blood and making sure her IVs were working correctly.

"It's touch and go," the blonde was tired of constantly hearing.

"She's coming home. You better make sure she comes home!" The sleazy doctor looked down at Regina, then back at the blonde.

"Sheriff Swan, I...I will make sure she comes home." He nods and goes back to work on the woman he once considered his enemy.

* * *

"Emma!" The blonde heard a screaming for her name as she ran inside the hospital room, grasping Regina's hand.

"I'm right here. I'm here, Regina, you're going to be all right..."

"How long?"

She didn't know what the question meant, but she opted for the best answer.

"You've been in the hospital for almost two weeks. They want to keep you here just in case. You're still alive...You're not going anywhere..."

"Home...I want to go home..."

"You can't, not yet. They still have to help you. You're going to beat this. Regina Swan-Mills doesn't back down from anything. You told me Cora was worse than death! Are you really going to give up?!"

"Emma..."

"No! I don't want to hear it! If you die, then you show everyone that they won! That their words matter! Do you really believe you are still evil?! If you do, then go to that boy waiting for his mom to come home and tell him he was wrong to say you've changed! You showed me pictures of Henry when he was younger, the two of you smiling. And you have the damn audacity to tell me that you're going to just lay here and take death without a fight because you think you're still someone from the past? I felt it, Regina! I felt it when we were making love! When you said yes to my proposal! I felt the woman my mother knew as a child! I felt the woman who existed with Daniel. Don't you dare let that woman die!"

Regina was sobbing now, her head aching from the bullet wound that was embedded in her scalp.

"I didn't know you..."

"I do. I notice everything about you. It's what someone does when they are in love with someone else...I'm here. My parents are here...We're waiting for you to come home. And I promise you, I'll wait as long as it takes. But please, don't give up."

"Stay...Until I can...go home..." A smile appeared on the brunette's features as the blonde leaned down to kiss her softly upon the cheek.

"I will. Always."

* * *

"So then what happened?" The blonde teenager looked at her grandmother, unable to keep herself from crying.

The older woman leaned over to wipe the fallen tears from her granddaughter's eyes.

"I realized your grandmother was right. That I had so much to fight for. I couldn't let what everyone else said to me matter. It wasn't just her I was abandoning. I had your father to care about. I was being selfish. This?" She held up the young girl's arm, noticing scars on her upper arm.

"This is unacceptable, Eva. You know that. You have people in your life that love you. And even when you think no one else does, I want you to know that I do. Through everything you do that probably annoys your father, your mother, and your siblings, they still love you. Just as I do. They don't matter. Those in the world? They're always going to be mean, just as they were to me."

There was a knock on the girl's bedroom door as a graying blonde peered her head into the room.

"Are you telling Eva a story again? C'mon you never let me tell any of the good parts. Did you know your grandmother launched me clear from her doorstep to her walkway? That's the first time I knew I was in love with her..."

"Emma Swan-Mills!"

* * *

**A/N- I wrote this for Suicide Prevention Month. At least, that's what my true intention was. I want you to know that if you've read this and have felt thoughts of suicide or like you have no one else in this world I want you to know that I care. That even though I do not know you, have never talked or met you, that I care about you. So keep on trucking, because someone, somewhere in this world wants you here.**


End file.
